Well I recently have had a few eye opening moments lately. As most of you all know we had a tragic accident that happened at our church a couple of Sundays ago where a lady from our church was accidentally ran over and killed by another member from our church, after the church service. I thank God that we were not there to witness this tragic accident with our children, but my heart aches for those of the ones who were there. Well anyways this past Sunday the preacher was talking and he had said he was still in shock that this had happened, but then he brought up the point of how she was sitting in church with us last Sunday and now she is gone. He had told us of how she was a good woman, loving, loved God, and if anyone was ever ready to go she was definitely ready. She would be remembered for what a great woman she was and greatly missed. So this made me think, "How would people remember me?" Would they remember me as a giving, kind woman who loved God, or would they remember me as a someone who was negative...unhappy...and couldn't tell that I loved God? I know that I am a good person, and I treat everyone the way that I want to be treated, but I realize that
my mouth tends to be a very big weakness of mine. I tend to "let it fly" when someone has done my children, husband, family, or myself wrong. I also tend to be frustrated and "fuss" to others about things that make me angry. And honestly I do love God, and I love my family and friends, I just did not realize the full impact that my words could have on others. But after the past 2 Sundays in church, my eyes have been opened, and God has spoken to me about it. I want people to know that I am a Christian...not just assume so because I teach the toddlers on Wednesday night and attend almost every Sunday morning church service. I want people to remember me as a good person and most of all I want to be able to spend eternity in Heaven with God. So I know that everyone wonders why the tragedy of Jefferson Ave happened, and Nan, a wonderful woman was lost...but was she really lost?? Her life can be used to open other's eyes, and I may have been able to learn something from this, but I know that God has a plan for everything and he's not through yet. I believe there is a plan from this and it's in God's hands if we just trust in God and allow him to lead us.
I also noticed this too last Sunday, and this has always amazed me, an elderly lady was sitting in her wheel chair at the end of the pew, one row up from us. It amazes me how elderly people, no matter their ailments or pains they show up to every service that they can. I mean hear is this older lady and she is in a wheel chair and she is still there every Sunday worshiping the Lord. To me I think about this, I am young and able to walk with out any help, my husband is healthy and all three of my children are as well....there is never a reason why we should not be at church. And as long as God gives us good health, or the ability to be able to attend church, we will be there.
And I will tell this last story that really touched my heart and this one was at home. Sunday was Mother's Day and we had spent the majority of the day, but then my husband needed to get the yard mowed before our busy, hectic week of school, ball games, and Wednesday night church began, so he went to get his chore done and the boys decided they wanted to play outside. Well this left me and Taylor inside for some much enjoyed mother-daughter cuddle and play time. So we played and we sang and then decided to sit down to watch a little bit of TV and relax in the recliner with blankey in hand. So I was flipping through the channels and got to channel 2 where that show where they redo a families house and send them on vacation came on...can't think of the name of it right now, but anyways I never watch it, but for some reason they had showed this woman and said, see how this house made one mother's day special for a this woman...so I decided to go ahead and watch it. Well they began talking about their situation and how they were picked to be on the show. It was a family of 5, mother, father, and 3 boys. Their youngest son was diagnosed with that rare eating condition where they never feel full and he had low muscle control. This mother devoted all of her time making sure she measured out all of her sons food, and making sure he ate when he was suppose to, and also doing physical therapy daily with him to help him with his low muscle control. The boy was absolutely a delight, and the doctors had said that he would never be able to show emotion or ever be able to do anything for himself...but as you could see this family loved him very much and did everything under the sun to help him . The saddest part about all of it was that they had to keep locks on their cabinets and refrigerator to make sure that he would not get up in the middle of the night and sneak food, because he would literally in a sense eat so much that it would cause his stomach to rupture and he would die. His mother lives constantly in concern and fear worrying that if she has just one slip up her son would die. And the constant reminder of their very small house with the locked up kitchen and baby gates all through the house to keep him confined left all of the family members feeling constant guilt of what ifs and what do we do. It was hard for the oldest boys to have their friends over because of the locks on the cabinets...and the fear of how others would not understand what they were going through. They also showed a time when the little boy was crying and his mother was rubbing his back and he was begging her for food, and she had to tell him no. The mother said it was so hard to look at your child who was crying from pain because they were hungry but she knew that it was not time for him to eat. Another thing that amazed me is how the doctors had pretty much written him off and said he would never be able to do anything for himself and this boy was so full of life...he was laughing and dancing, and he helps with the Make a Wish Foundation and helps advocate for that and raise money so that others that were less fortunate as him could be apart of this program. But anyways their house was amazing and they had such a wonderful outcome from it...and this is what all of this made me think about. Alot of you know that I have so much trouble with Erik....and they see that I stay completely stressed, but I thought to myself...and actually thanked God for my son...for all 3 of my children. Yes it is really tough raising Erik and we have alot of challenges, but I am so thankful that he is healthy. I thought of the mother in the show....how tough it probably was for her to be devoting every waking minute of her life to her youngest son, and I thought of this. My oldest son is a handful...but he is fully functional, and he's smart, and funny and he can do everything by himself, sometimes it takes alot of encouraging but for the most part he can do everything normally. All 3 of my children are healthy, and I am blessed. Then I had a really good friend of mine, who also has a son who is ADHD, tell me today that God gave us to our sons because he knew we was strong enough to handle our boys and to raise them the best we could and love them unconditionally....thank you Crystal for giving me that strength...and thank you God for sending me Erik...and of course my other 2 beautiful healthy children...and for opening my eyes this past week to all that you have.
